Golden Bull awards 1999

The Golden Bull trophy The Golden Bull trophy The Golden Bull trophy


 

  • Bansal Estates of Coventry asked a student's parent to sign this guarantor statement:

'The guarantor in consideration of the demised herein before contained having been made at their request hereby jointly and severally covenant with the landlord that the Tenant will pay the rent hereby reserved on the days and in manner aforesaid and will perform and observe all the tenants covenants herein before contained and that in case of default in such payment of rent or in the performance of such covenants as aforesaid the Guarantors will pay and make good to the landlord on demand all losses damages costs and expenses therefore arising or incurred by the Landlord PROVIDE ALWAYS and it is hereby agreed that any neglect or forbearance of the landlord in endeavouring to obtain the payment of the rents hereby reserved when the same become payable or to enforce the performance of the several stipulations herein to the Tenants part contained and any time which may be given to the Tenants by the landlord shall not release or exonerate or in any way affect the liability of the Sureties under this covenant. (174 words) If the Tenant (being a Company) shall be dissolved or (being an individual) shall become bankrupt and the Liquidator of the Trustee in Bankruptcy (as the case may be) shall disclaim this tenancy the Surety shall nevertheless upon demand payment to the Landlord a sum equal to the rent that would have been payable under the tenancy but for the disclaimer in respect of the period from the date of the said disclaimer until the expiration of three months therefrom or until the property shall have been re-let by the Lanldlord whichever shall first occur.

'AS WITNESS the hands of the parties hereto the day and year first written above.'


  • A student completing a Catering Studies assignment at Birmingham College of Food, Tourism and Creative Studies didn't agree that the clue was in the question:

'OUTLINE WHETHER YOUR ORGANISATION IS A MANUFACTURING ORGANISATION WITH AN ANCILLARY SERVICE OR A SERVICE ORGANISATION WITH A FACILITATING GOOD.'


  • The Department for the Environment, Transport and the Regions produced a consultation paper on 'the Implementation of the IPPC Directive'. Schedule 7, section 4.3. They seemed to have missed the point on using paragraphs to make things clear:

'In the application by virtue of this paragraph of subparagraphs (4) and (6) to (10) of paragraph 3 to an application or proposed variation:

(a)the notice served under sub-paragraph (6) of this paragraph shall be treated as the notification required by sub-paragraph (4) (1) of paragraph 3;

the reference in sub-paragraph (6) of paragraph 3 to the day on which the notification under sub-paragraph (4) a) of paragraph 3 is made shall be treated as reference to the day on which the notice served under sub-paragraph (2) of this paragraph is given.'


  • The Department for Trade and Industry, in the Employment Relations Act 1999 (Schedule 7, section 3 (1) (c)), seemed to have an identity crisis:

'a person carrying on an employment business shall not request or directly or indirectly receive and fee from a second person for providing services (whether by the provision of information or otherwise) for the purposes of finding or seeking to find a third person, with a view to the second person becoming employed by the first person and acting for and under the control of the third person.'


  • Computer firm Elonex plc truly passed the buck with a 'force majeure' clause in its terms and conditions:

'The Company shall not be liable for the cancellation by it of any order or any unfulfilled part thereof or for effecting partial delivery or performance if performance by the Company is prevented or delayed whether directly or indirectly by any cause whatsoever beyond the reasonable control of the Company whether such cause existed or was forseeable at the date of acceptance of the Customer's order by the Company or not and without prejudice to the generality of the foregoing any cause shall be deemed to prevent, hinder or delay the Company if the Company is thereby prevented, hindered or delayed from fulfilling other commitments whether to the Customer or to third parties.' (113 words)


  • Glasgow Royal Infirmary's Centre for Rheumatic Diseases produced a card informing patients that:

'YOU HAVE HAD AN INTRA-ARTICLAR INJECTION OF STEROID.'

'Facial flushing a few days after injection is normal, however in event of increasing pain, swelling or redness of the joint urgent assessment is mandatory. Aspiration of joint fluid with appropriate culture may be necessary.'


  • Strathclyde Joint Police Board were asked how much it cost the taxpayer to police a particular protest. A council report summing up their response was giving nothing away:

'Strathclyde Joint Police Board have confirmed that costing out a specific police operation is an awkward exercise in accounting terms as well as being an artificial practice. Making reference to the costs of a single operation is essentially an exercise in a vacuum which would divorce from the reality of the strategic approach to policing operations throughout the entire police area. Therefore an actual figure was not provided.'

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