Past newsletters 2002

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Plain English update 30 August 2002

Our campaigning for clearer information on European issues took a step forward this week when Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said a proposed European Union constitution should be written in plain English. But we warned that the document should be tested on the public to make sure it can be understood.

Mr Straw said that the constitution should be a 'simple set of principles [which] sets out in plain language what the EU is for... it would help to reconnect European voters with the institutions which act in their name.'

Our spokesman John Lister reminded reporters that Plain English Campaign was not taking a political stance on where power should lie in Europe. 'However, we do believe everyone in an EU country deserves a clear account of how the EU affects their lives. This 'constitution' shouldn't be bogged down in legal details. Instead it should give people a general idea of the main points that affect their daily lives.

'If anything comes of Mr Straw's call, we hope the constitution will be tested on the public for clarity. It's no good churning something out through a system of linguistics sub-committees and then declaring it to be crystal clear despite not having proper testing. If ordinary people can't understand a constitution that the EU claims is in 'plain language', then they will quickly lose any interest in the whole affair.'

An article in The Sun this week listed examples one of the problems of not choosing language appropriate for the intended audience. The article listed brand names that caused problems when marketing in foreign countries, such as the famed case of Vauxhall's 'Nova' car: a term that means 'won't go' in Spanish. Other cases included:

• Fiera (a Toyota car) which is 'an ugly old woman' in local Puerto Rican slang;
• Cue (a Colgate toothpaste) which is also the title of a pornographic magazine in France;
• Pet (condensed milk) which means to break wind in French; and
• Pavian (a Barcadi-based fruit drink) which is French for baboon.

The Inland Revenue may be making attempts to improve the clarity of their tax returns, but a survey shows they still have plenty of work. A study to find the public's ten most stressful activities put filling in a tax return in second place. Perhaps not surprisingly for this time of year, the top place went to bank holiday traffic jams.

Supermarket chain Asda has admitted to exploiting a loophole in labelling laws to sell beef from Brazil without clearly stating where it came from.

The only details given on the label were the name and address of British firm Anglo-Beef Processing (ABP). Laws requiring the country of origin to be listed only apply to beef sold without any processing. But in this case, ABP simply added salt and pepper to the meat.

Asda have offered a full refund to any customer that bought the beef under the impression it was produced in Britain.

It seems many problems with communication come with self-assembly goods. We hear of people baffled as to how to put together flat-pack furniture. Other people aren't sure how to put together the figures on their tax returns. But one of our supporters recently received a tenancy agreement with what appears to be a self-assembly sentence.

'The Landlord includes the persons for the time being entitled in reversion expectant on the tenancy.'

Plain English update 23 August 2002

Richard Adams, writer of the city diary in the Guardian, has come up with some satirical variations on the stock market jargon terms 'bull market' (when prices rise) and 'bear market' (when prices fall).

• Bear market: when the stock market gets so bad that even woodland animals sell their shares.
• Bare market: when there's really not much on.
• Beer market: lots of froth and bubble - buy too much and you'll regret it.
• Blair market: when even the Prime Minister sells up.
• Brie market: when the market goes off after a couple of days (especially during the summer).
• Bull market: when everyone talks rubbish.

The Government has relaunched it's 'Don't get by... get on' campaign to improve literacy. The campaign is inspired by research showing that one in five adults is functionally illiterate. This means they cannot perform everyday tasks that involve reading or writing.

Callers to a freephone number, 0800 100 900, can get a free information pack and details of literacy courses in their area.

The Queen's Counsel cartoon in the Times this week included a guide to the language used in Court of Appeal decisions.

'Having exhaustively researched the authorites...'

(We read the skeleton arguments)

'...and with due regard to the true intent of the legislation...'

(We make our own law around here)

'...and while giving great weight to the findings of the learned judge below...'

(The twit who made a mess of this trial)

'...a fair reading of the testimony established...'

(This is what we think happened)

'...that despite procedural errors the defendant suffered no prejudicial effect.'

(He's as guilty as hell anyway.)

One of our supporters, who subscribes to the Telegraph newspaper, had a letter from the subscription department this week. It seems clear enough - but can you spot the catch?

'I am writing to let you know that we are taking care of your subscription automatically by continuous Direct Debit - so you need do nothing.

'I hope you are enjoying The Telegraph. It brings you news, award-winning sport, features and comment from top-name writers making it a quality newspaper that really stands out from the rest. All this plus great subscriber offers which we negotiate specially on your behalf. These include discounts, prize draws and competitions - all offered to you through [a special] Telegraph membership magazine, which you will receive every 12 weeks. Your subscriptions to The Telegraph [newspaper] will be at a price of £2.65 per week compared to the cover price of £4.35 per week. Extremely good value for money, I am sure you'll agree.

'To spread the cost of your subscription, the payments will be debited from your account in equal amounts on a quarterly basis - the First payment of £34.45 being deducted on 01/09/02. It's easy, convenient and we take care of everything for you so that you can be assured that you will not experience a gap in your subscription. We will, of course, keep you informed if there are any changes in your subscription.

'In the meantime many thanks for your loyalty as a subscriber.'

And the catch? The quarterly price was £32.50 and is now £34.45 - yet the letter somehow manages to avoid the dreaded phrase 'price rise'!

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Plain English update 16 August 2002

Lord Woolf, the man who banished Latin and legal jargon from the civil courts in 1999 is back on the warpath.

He has ordered staff in criminal courts to replace 'amicus curiae' (literally 'friend of the court') with 'advocate to the court'. He has also said judges should use the phrase 'minimum term' rather than the less well-known 'tariff'.

Lord Woolf has also suggested replacing the phrase 'pro bono', used to describe lawyers giving their services free of charge. He said, 'I think one reason why pro bono is not playing its part in the provision of legal services as it should is because of the very words.'

The proposals come as Lord Auld continues to examine ways to make the entire criminal court system run more smoothly. The ideas under review include clearer language being used in court oaths and in the judge's instructions to juries.

As we've been striving for political even-handedness in our gobbledygook extracts for the last couple of weeks, it's only fair to return to the Daily Mail's favourite subject: the roundabout speaking of deputy prime minister John Prescott.

The Today programme's host John Humphrys asked whether Members of Parliament would be allowed to debate the issue of military action in Iraq and whether they would be allowed to make any decisions.

Mr Prescott explained that: 'The Prime Minister has said when the matter becomes a decisions or if these matters are taken into consideration, there will be a debate on it.' Later in the interview he said: 'The Prime Minister has made it quite clear that at the appropriate time there will be a discussion in Parliament if such decisions have been taken.'

'There will be a decision in Parliament?' enquired Mr Humphrys.

Replied Mr Prescott: 'There will be a kind of decision. Because every time we have had decisions on these matters they've usually been on the adjournment of the House, but that will be judged at the appropriate time. The Prime Minister will make the decision. That is why he is the Prime Minister, and Parliament will be involved in the debate.'

The Co-op supermarket chain launched a campaign this week to change British laws to make food labels more honest.

The group is calling for:

• greater control over 'low-fat' labels (for example, firms describing a products as '95% fat free'; the 5% fat level is comparatively high)
• firms to list sugar and salt content;
• drinks makers to list caffeine content in all products, not just tea and coffee;
• no meaningless health claims, such as describing orange juice as 'fat free'; and
• using labels large enough for people to read.

Proposals for firms to be forced to list any caffeine content above a certain limit are currently going through the European Union's political system.

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Plain English update 9 August 2002

A feature in the Sun this week warned of some of the examples of office jargon that could be about to catch on.

• A '404' is a clueless person. It is taken from the error message that appears when a web page is missing.
• 'Percussive maintenance' is repeatedly hitting an electronic device to attempt to make it work again.
• A 'snout-cast' is somebody who is forced to go outside the building to smoke. (Snout is British slang for tobacco.)
• A 'seagull manager' is a boss who flies in, makes a lot of noise, drops a mess on everything and then leaves.
• A 'Xerox subsidy' is when you use the office photocopier for personal documents.

A couple of weeks ago we attempted to show our political impartiality by covering the curious wording used to explain the then Conservative party chairman David Davis' demotion (or 'move forward'). Unfortunately we seem to have cursed Mr Davis.

His official title in his new role is 'Shadow Secretary of State for the Office of Deputy Prime Minister'. However, the Times reports this week, he seems to be having some trouble remembering the position. In recent press releases he has called himself:

• Shadow Deputy Prime Minister;
• Shadow Secretary of State for Local Government and Regions;
• The Shadow Cabinet Member; and the much simpler
• Rt Hon David Davis MP

A spokesman for party leader Iain Duncan Smith explained that '[Mr Davis] is not Shadow Deputy Prime Minister. He is Shadow Secretary of State for the Office of Deputy Prime Minister.'

Daily Mail columnist Linda Lee-Potter recently wrote about a feature in the magazine Country Life where readers nominated their favourite view. To most readers, a 'view' is what you see when you look out of the window. But Jonathan Meades, one of the judges in the competition, had other ideas. He said the word 'implies a fresh understanding of the compact between human prospector and the found world, of the ocular ability to discern in nature and in humankind's amendments of nature happenstantial beauty, awe by chance.'

The business diary in the Guardian uncovered an intriguing use of the language by international coffee shop chain Starbucks. Customers in Britain have often noted the strange way that the larger cup size is known as 'grande', while the smallest cup size is a 'tall'. (To make things more confusing, this smallest size is comparatively large by British standards.)

It now appears that an even smaller size is available after all and it is more along the lines of a traditional cup of coffee in Britain. However this size is not listed on menus, and anybody who makes the mistake of referring to 'small' or 'regular' in their order is served with a 'tall'. The only way to get what is the smallest sized drink is to specifically ask for a 'short' (a phrase more commonly used in Britain to describe a measure of alcohol such as vodka or gin).

And the reason this small (or short or regular) option isn't listed on the menu? According to a Starbucks spokesperson, there isn't room.

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Plain English update 2 August 2002

We reported several weeks ago about Parliament's Treasury Committee hearing evidence from a mathematics professor who admitted struggling to compare interest rates from rival credit card companies.

The evidence came as part of an investigation into banking for the public and small businesses. The committee published its final report this week and made two specific recommendations about credit cards.

• The Committee believes that the lack of transparency in the credit and charge card industry acts against meaningful competition, and is therefore against the consumers' interest. The Committee recommends that credit and charge card companies should publish, with equal prominence, all the variables that make up the actual cost of credit. This should be done in a way which allows consumers to make straightforward comparisons between the costs of credit offered by all credit and charge card products.
• The Committee recognises that product differentiation can be an important feature of competition and satisfying customers' differing needs, but is concerned that for individuals to understand interest rate calculations requires an unreasonable amount of time and effort. The Committee recommends that every credit and charge card statement shows the "estimated interest charge if only the minimum balance is paid by the due date", as a number do already.

The Metro newspaper, which is read by commuters across Britain, ran a story this week about the ongoing case in the United States linking fast food to obesity. The story prompted a run of letters to the editor about condescending warnings on labels. The newspaper then printed the following letter from our spokesman John Lister in reply to one such account.

'Klif Fuller's letter about labels on American beer bottles warning 'may cause intoxication or drowsiness' was amusing. But this United States style 'sue 'em all' mentality is undermining the effectiveness of food labelling.

'When manufacturers print such blindingly obvious statements merely as a pre-emptive legal defence, they are educating consumers to simply ignore the labels. Most food producers want to use their labels to communicate important health information, but if we continue with this 'compensation culture', labels will inevitably become nothing more than an insurance policy against dubious claims.'

The European Commission (EC) has overturned a French law insisting all food labels are written in French.

The European Court of Justice declared the law, passed in 1994, invalid in 2000. The French government has so far failed to change its laws, but the EC has now threatened legal action to enforce the change.

An EC spokesman pointed out that the rules only affected the names of food (for example, 'cornflakes' rather than 'petales de mais'). Ingredients must still be listed in the local language.

And for those with weak stomachs, the good news is that the rules apply equally in the United Kingdom, so producers of 'foie gras' will not have to describe their product as 'fatty liver'.

Back in England, there is at least one label with no room for argument.

Visitors to Manchester's Piccadilly rail station this week have been taking free samples of bottled water through a promotion by a utilities company. One part of the bottle's label contains all the important information:

'Ingredients: Water.'

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